I was getting ready for bed, and the first song that popped up on my Spotify Daily Mix playlist was “About Today” by The National, a pretty fitting song for the current mood/vibe of my weekend. I just need to vent out to the public domain before I fall asleep tonight, and then hopefully things improve from here (being honest though, I just watched “Mystic River” for the first time with my dad, so things are looking rather gloomy right now).
We could start with how this weekend started, #nobannowall. Because quite frankly, what the hell is happening to this country/world right now. It is amazing to see people all over the country, especially people that I know, protest such a declaration. I know that there are plenty more people who feel sick to their stomach about this whole refugee and deportation situation than there of those who actually support such ridiculousness, and if I were somewhere less remote, I would be right there with them. It feels reassuring that there are world leaders speaking out on behalf of all the people affected by this ban, and to see all these local representatives and lawyers doing their best. To take a step back, however, what if Trump was impeached? There is no way that Pence is any better, so what can 4 years actually bring? I can be impatient, and through yoga I’m trying to stay grounded in the present, but that thought is actually terrifying. After one week under Trump’s administration, we already have people likening the political sphere to the next world war. I am angry and I am worried about what each day will bring, and my only “strike” is that I am of Mexican descent. I am worried about everyone in the world, because no one can predict what will happen right now, and I truly miss that sense of security.
Speaking of security, I am completely freaking out about this whole job situation. I have a job lined up for the summer, but I am 24 years old now and I want to be able to work where I want to be. I put in the hard effort to finally obtain my bachelor’s degree in Communications (yay next week), but I just want to spend a few months with my friends in the beautifully remote Marquette, and you would think that no one lives there based on this job search. I did what society expects of me, getting an undergraduate degree, so now I believe I deserve this and I’m feeling rather anxious (without the whole Millennial mentality). I have to start making money, but this feeling of getting no call-backs about any position is getting old. I’ll continue putting in the hard work, but really, adulting is not that fun. Sending positive cosmic vibes out in regard to this issue.
I finished day 29 of my “31 days of yoga” program to start off the new year. Seriously, go to Yoga with Adriene. When I can’t visit a yoga studio, that channel is literally my saving grace. It helped me find my practice again at the start of this insane year, so I am eternally grateful. Today’s practice was loving, and asked us to think about what true and honest feelings came up in regard to proudness in our life. So I will end this bleak blog post (totally sorry about that-more nature pics next time), by reiterating what I thought about during my meditative practice:
- I am proud that I am reconnecting to my outdoor roots. Being outside makes me feel whole, brings health to body and mind, and creates a safe space. It’s been hard, bouncing around for the past 6 months, so I am fortunate to currently be somewhere that is surrounded by nature.
- I am proud that I am getting back into running, because it is so worth it. That feeling of getting back into running? Yeah, that is the absolute worst. So every horrendous run that I endure gets me one step closer to where I have been, and I am SO excited to get back to that level. Plus, winter running is one of my favorite things ever (running > skiing).
- I am proud that I stuck to this yoga practice program. Let’s face it, would have been so easy to have skipped a program here and there because life does feel that busy and hectic sometimes. I stuck with it though, and I’m feeling flexibility in places that were long forgotten. It’s brought peace back into my mind, and nurtures my soul. I am ready to accept this program into my daily habits.
- Lastly, I am proud that I am sticking to my education and experience on Communications. I (still) have no idea what I want to do with my life, but I continue to take advantage of my knowledge in each day. With last night’s New Moon on my side, I’ve been reconnecting with others that are important to me. I’ve even been sticking to this blog, which is more than just a resource to put on my countless cover letters to businesses (really, please hire me. I’m great). It’s an outlet to get my thoughts out there in the open, which I’ve never been comfortable with before.
So go ahead, go listen to “About Today”, and feel free to confide in me about whatever is going on in your life. I like to listen just as much as I like to freak out about everything that is going on in my life and in the world. But it’s a good song to take a deep breath to, which I think everyone needs every now and then. Until next time (when there will be more nature pictures #winterisgreat).